Just let it all go

What am I doing to myself lately,
It feels like I’m punishing myself,
Yet I have done nothing wrong,
Everything feels like it’s too much,
I feel an inner struggle going on,
I’ve noticed I’m drinking too often,
Lying to myself that I’m having fun,
While knowing full well that it’s poison,
Drinking to remember, but also to forget,
This poem is a reminder for me,
To catch myself before I fall,
Time for self-care, to better myself,
Pull myself up again, out of this mire,
I feel like I am in mourning, I lament,
The world I once lived in is dying,
Fading away, soon to be forgotten, ignored,
Replaced by unknown new moments,
I just can’t seem to let go of my ghosts,
The further time moves me from them,
The more clouded my memories become,
The faces are erased and they feel so distant,
But the memories persist, like echoes,
Thorns that pierce my mind, bound to me,
Why can’t I just let it all go,
Perhaps my ego fears the truth,
That I too will fade away, forgotten in time.