My Runaway Heart

I have always felt like I’m running or chasing,
Trying to dodge change and abandonment,
Prolonging others sadness as a comfort giver,
Have I ever had a true home, a place where I belong?
Why have I held on so tight from early childhood,
What did I unconsciously know?
Did I know everyone would leave me one day,
Break my heart, my spirit, my faith in others,
Did I turn all that death into something,
Not positive, just tolerable,
I can’t fucking breathe, the air of suffering is so thick,
Why have I been the slave of torment and loss,
The cost of my living feels so extreme,
The strength of my runaway heart has faded,
My mind can’t be taken back to a place where I belong,
I have no point zero, nobody who understands,
There is only hurt, all I truly have is suffering,
Perhaps this preoccupation is of my own creation,
My suffering is self-induced,
Either way, I can’t take it anymore.