I feel like I have been jettisoned,
Newly arriving on an alien landscape,
Here, beings exist that are not of my make,
They behave in a confusing manner,
Their language is untranslatable,
Their beliefs, the opposite of my own,
It is as though each being is a planet,
All squeezed into one tiny galaxy,
With no room for expansion,
No space for personal expression,
No room for creativity,
There is no place for your opinion here,
There is no silence, it is deafeningly loud,
Life is like closing my eyes while watching a movie,
And it rolls on regardless,
This, is now.
Exit Reality
I’ve created worlds with nothing more than imagination and a PC,
Art based solid worlds that to me exist to me to this very day,
One dark, body imprisoning, mind stealing world enslaving humanity,
And another world full of colour and love that exists after death,
Neither is more beautiful, and yet as tragically heartbreaking,
As the real world.
Is this 1984
Each pay flows quicker than liquid mercury,
Removed from accounts with electronic surgery,
Payments for toil that instantly disappear,
And it’s becoming worse everywhere year by year,
The world is more broken than ever before,
It’s like we are living through Orwell’s 1984,
How can we possibly hope to retire?
The future seems dark and the finances dire,
When the basics are getting so hard to acquire,
We are just banknotes burning on life’s funeral pyre.
The New Age of Revulsion
The world feels like it’s on fire,
Greed and stupidity pollute the air,
People suffer the reign of megalomaniacal pigs,
Morally corrupt child-adults influence and advise,
Disrespect and violence grow from desperation,
The stink of self-entitlement bites at the nostrils,
All beauty on Earth is violated by materialistic hunger,
Bigotry and self-indulgence are the new faith,
The new age of revulsion has begun,
Self-immolation is technologically delivered,
Mankind’s final act has been scripted and is in play,
A dystopia is birthed, screaming and untethered,
From this point there is no way back.
March 25
I woke up in the dark today, and I felt your absence more than ever,
Today, you should have been here with loved ones, like you wanted to,
Laughing at all of my aches and pains as I too grow older,
I am already past the age that you were never able to reach,
What started with a cough, made you but a hazy memory to some,
A washed-out polaroid, scanned in for future generations to see,
I can’t have you on my wall, it still hurts me to my core to see you,
But I will make them all see you, I will make them remember you,
Your face only appears in tired photos, but I still see you clearly,
When I see my eyes in the mirror, or those of my babies, I see yours,
Nothing will ever break me like it did when your time was up,
I lost part of me that cold July day, and it is irretrievable,
New life is arriving, a beautiful brutal reminder of legacy and heartbreak,
You taught me strength, kindness and gentility, encouraged art and poetry,
You were loving, gentle and funny, and a demon in the defence of your family,
Although life goes on, I remember you still, and I say your name aloud,
I keep you in my impenetrable heart, safe and protected, as you eternally sleep.
All the sounds, all at once
The two of us sit and finish up a quiet café breakfast,
Another couple enters the space and takes a seat,
Two more, caught up in a high energy conversation,
An old lady reads, as her grandson bangs away at a noisey ipad,
A group of four loud workmen enter and sit right behind me,
The old lady looks over her glasses, hearing their foul language,
I can see my wife speaking, sipping her coffee, smiling,
But I am somewhere, anywhere else, I cannot hear her,
We are now communicating from distant worlds,
Why can’t she notice that the atmosphere has changed,
I close my eyes to reset, but the sound is everywhere,
Cutlery scraping on plates, different voices, intense laughter,
Different sounds seemingly competing for sonic dominance,
“Hello, are you even listening to me” my wife’s voice booms,
Not her fault, but her sudden interjection instantly angers me,
“Of course” I lie, I’m barely capable of hearing my own words,
The table of four erupts into loud over dramatized laughter,
It reminds me of my own workplace, nothing is that funny,
It is louder laughter than the greatest comedians enjoy,
Fake, people are fake, anger stirs as my mind splinters into shards,
“We have to go”, I try to dull my senses further but I’m at full capacity,
All of the sounds, all at once, are just too much for me,
“ok”, she finishes her coffee, her face fills with her displeasure,
Guilt fills me as we leave, but I feel like I’m just trying to cope,
I wasn’t always this man.
Slow Sinking Boat of Hopelessness
What have I done with my life, the outcomes don’t equal the effort,
I thought I was doing ok, well, the best I could with the hand dealt,
Everything has always felt so uphill, every choice felt thwarted,
I am unable to support my loved ones with anything more than words,
I talk so much, sometimes it feels like a con, but who am I reassuring,
I try to find hope in a world with no respect for the honest and loyal,
Debt erodes us all, it feels like there’s no escape, time is running out,
Words cannot build futures, words just soothe temporarily,
A band-aid fix, words eventually fall as fruitless as a life of toil,
Why am I wallowing, I agree that I cannot be everything to everyone,
But watching my children suffer, is a bitter pill to swallow,
I wanted to make life easier, but we all lead very different lives,
And we all made those midnight decisions that got us here,
It feels like life is one long shady deal, featuring different characters,
Deals with a workplace, deals with banks, we deal to get by,
Doing our best to survive between paychecks without drowning,
We may be better off than others, but ultimately,
We are all aboard the same slow sinking boat of hopelessness.
Never Look Back
I stare into the darkness beyond the streetlight,
Something is there, following me, just out of sight,
I tried ignoring it while walking, I increased my pace,
When I stop, it stops, it’s like an unseen shadow,
The waning moon is thin above, the neighbourhood is dark,
I must keep moving, I’m not far from home now,
There it is again, heavy footsteps behind me,
Each foot falls in time with my own,
I breathe a fearful misty vapour in the cold night air,
I feel for my door keys, fumbling in my pocket as I walk,
If I turn my head even slightly, the footsteps stop,
How does it know what I’m thinking,
My front door stands before me, my key slides into the lock,
I look at my reflection in the door glass, I am covered in blood,
The shadow passes, I look at my blood-soaked hands and realise,
I am the monster.
I could see it in you at the beginning
It all began in a time of youth and wonder,
A path, aboard a vessel bypassing trauma,
Something to cling to, comfort for the broken,
Swept along by what was expected of me,
But I dedicated myself to our babies,
An unwavering decision that endures,
I could see it in you, even at the beginning,
When it was assumed that I had lost myself to your will,
Pressed into control, this was not love but abuse,
This was dependence, this was the unspoken truth,
I could see it in you, even at the beginning,
Everyone saw a finale, but nobody witnessed the opening acts,
I knew the road ahead would be fatal,
If not for you, then certainly for me,
You always sort the forbidden exit you found,
I could see it in you, even at the beginning,
I tried to keep the darkness away, but didn’t know how,
Unprepared for your spite, your final attempt at control,
You wrote of freedom, but knowingly took it away,
I could see it in you, even at the beginning.
The girl I knew was gone, long before you left.
That girl in the corner
See that girl in the corner,
With eyes alight with a fire for justice,
With raven hair, long and sweet scented,
Her pale skin is soft to the touch, yet armoured,
Her mind is a thousand moments competing for dominance,
She is battle hardened, and yet innocent,
Beautiful, she is kindness, yet wrathful to any foe,
My bride, my first waking thought, my peaceful time,
I love to hear her laughing, I smile when she sings,
And my mind rests easy, when I hear her say,
I love you.
Dan Verkys 