Posts

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A time to pause and take stock: not a poem

Today I hit pause on all of my social media accounts, why? Because I stuggle to see their relevance to art anymore, because their obscure algothrymic rules mitigate any growth of an artist without $, I think their greed has made them reduntant, and I’m too unwell and tired to put up with it anymore.

Amusingly, I just spent quite some time writing this into a massive post, but satisfyingly, I just hit delete, why? Because fuck social media and the fake people who live there in, I don’t have the mental energy to deal with them anymore.

regards,

Dan

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I Disconnect from you

I feel a certain sense of disconnection,
It is a comfort, numb and reassuring,
I don’t want to be a part of your world,
I’m not interested in any of your plans,
I have already given everything I want to,
There is not much left inside for myself,
So now, a farewell as I disconnect from you,
As I enter a final future, one without pain,
The end days, where I remain unsolicited,
Unaffected by comment, unhindered thoughts,
My time will be my own, so I push you all away,
Your mental thefts have not gone unnoticed.

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Keep a light on for me

There are storms sometimes at night,
Deep inside of me where nobody sees,
When my mind races into fight or flight,
And panic brings me to my knees,

I can’t live the same way anymore,
Because it hurts too much to say goodbye,
Constant nightmares shake me to the core,
Until I can’t take the pain inside,

Please keep a light on for me,
On stormy nights when my mind does roam,
Keep a light on for me please my love,
So that I can find my way back home.

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We are nothing

From the poorest dysentery filled gutter,

The stars still shimmer as bright and unreachable,

As they do from a billionaire’s garden.

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Unable to see the light

With blind eyes closed, relying on weaker senses,
Stumbling forever onwards, destination unclear,
There’s no light in a reality fueled by fear,
More machine than man now, that’s humanity today,
Unlovable, unmemorable, unloyal creatures,
Over opinionated, self-indulged and dim featured,
Artificial is his intelligence now,
The dissident speaks without a mandible,
As simulation paints a future brightly tangible,
Changes have been subtle and constant,
Corporations are the necks that turn the head,
Governments of a people, corrupt and morally dead,
The dissidents no longer speak their mind,
And the world seems unwilling to see the light,
As constant technological dopamine numbs any fight.

The Dissident (2025)
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Two moments in one

In the infinite darkness of space,

I drift,

My ship is set to auto pilot,

Silently moving forward,

Zero navigation to find my way home,

Blind in the dark,

There is no sound other than my breathing,

A numbness fills me,

Not quite alive, but unable to die,

I am in stasis.

"I'm not sure if this works, but it felt like I was telling two tales at the same time, each line flows together, and yet, each second line tells separate tale, both combining at the end."
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September Morning

It’s a cold blue skied September morning,
The first coffee for the day has gone,
The heater is on and slowly warming,
And I feel myself finally waking up,
I perform the daily curtain opening ritual,
Bright pink cherry blossoms catch my eye,
Our garden is beginning to come alive for Spring,
The thought of an end to winter makes me smile,
As golden sunbeams pierce the tree line,
My room illuminates, and I rub weary eyes,
It is quiet, a blessing of country living,
My mind is also quiet, unready for workday stress,
The world feels so far away from me this morning,
And the thought of that distance makes me smile,
Apart from sparrows squabbling outside my window,
The fan of the heater is the only sound,
Right now, I could be the last man on earth,
And I would be ok with that.

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When the Beast Awakens

Covert as a crow at midnight,
My anxiety builds within,
An unwelcome guest with no invite,
A creeping feeling now settled in,

It only takes a carefree thought,
Cast in the wrong direction,
To awaken the monster that I have wrought,
From my mind I have no protection,

Its first blow fells me with a body shot,
And then it then likes to take its time,
Then it twists my stomach into a knot,
And that’s when it’s showtime,

My mind performs its pantomime,
Where I cry, and shake, and can’t think straight,
My thoughts explode working overtime,
Making narratives to feed my frantic state,

I take the drug to calm the thoughts,
That tell me that I’m going to die,
At the hands of this enemy that I have fought,
Since I was just a child,

Eventually the wave breaks upon the beach,
Where I’m washed up broken and tired,
Afraid to close my eyes at night and sleep,
Fearing the monster I have inside.

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The Return

The other me has returned so soon,
He visits throughout the year,
In my head he hums a familiar tune,
That’s how I know that he is near,

I feel more distant than my usual self,
As though he casts me out to sea,
Or I’m placed upon a dusty shelf,
While he masquerades as me,

The real me waits until he leaves again,
But who knows how long he’ll be,
He’s rolling storm clouds, and pouring rain,
Don’t engage with the other me,

There’s no acknowledgement while he’s active,
I’m just an unwilling bystander,
Our thoughts are not co-active,
When he’s here, he is commander,

Suddenly he has gone without a warning,
Control returned, his task complete,
I’m left colder than a winters morning,
All alone in the driver’s seat.