Tag: creativity

As the calendar closes on this final day of the year,
I don’t feel anything other than a numb indifference,
In a personal review of everything I have created,
A sustained enthusiasm for creativity was evident,
My output declined, I felt, and still do feel quite lost,
Like being encased in an airtight concrete bunker,
Lightless and inescapable, suffocating and restraining,
Surprisingly, writing gave me the most creative sustenance,
My private notebooks became illegible, their imagery manic,
Many pages were illustrated with such violent force,
Pages punctured, torn and replaced, screaming scrawled texts,
All aggressively wrapped in an explosion of coloured madness,
As though multiple Me’s were all erupting at once,
Uncontrolled, unrefined and absolutely lost in confusion,
A new year is the one opportunity to find myself,
Where my mental walls are not confines, but portals,
Allowing me to access a journey that makes me feel complete,
I need to rediscover the path to my wellness.

I work diligently to keep my mind clear and calm,

I create things with various art forms, I have many different hobbies,

However, these are rarely successful long-term distractions,

Frame of mind is everything, and I can feel my mind drifting,

Drifting from where I would like it to be,

Sometimes, inside of my head feels like I’m locked in a loud crowded room,

Inside I’m trying my best to focus, to communicate, or to escape,

Some days it feels impossible to create anything, because of the noise,

Other days it is easier, the volume is down, and my mind is inexplicably pliable,

They say, after every storm comes peace,  

Therefore, after so much sound, there should be silence,

After most creative endeavours, comes such emptiness,

I pour myself into whatever I create, and I’m unsparing in the amount,

Time to hit the mute button for a while and let the white noise fade out.