You are here, but you had to fight to be so,
It angers me that your start must be so hard,
But that is our way,
I encourage your strength, so grow strong,
You’re already so determined,
In your blood is the fire of generations,
In your tiny heart beats your ancestors, loudly,
You already possess the power to erase my armour,
At our first meeting, I know the deal will be done,
I will be helpless, there will be no negotiation,
Devotion, unexpected and certainly not withheld,
And I am ok with that,
A sweet little angel arrived in secret,
Bringer of healing to the broken,
You I will never witness my inner walls,
To you my heart is freely and forever open,
You need never ask,
For my entire life has been yours, before you arrived,
For you are the blood of my blood.
Scars of yesterday
Some nights are about you,
Reflection, solemn contemplation,
The very air you breathe,
Hover in the dying light of the day,
Even though it was not your own,
Be enraptured in moments of accomplishment,
Before the night rolls in.
At the end
What do I fear?
Death,
Or what it brings,
I fear the finality,
Of the loss,
Of the momentary sadness,
But most of all,
I fear that what I have shared,
With the meager gifts I was given,
Were not enough to remember me fondly.
Eight drink limit
One drink to sadness,
One drink for those you’ve lost,
One drink to what life has costs,
One drink to say goodbye,
One drink as you try to survive,
One drink for regret,
One drink to forget,
One drink is never enough.
Farewell
Too many nights, my hands cover my eyes,
I’m not ashamed to cry as I think of you,
Saying goodbye to you is the hardest,
What do I say to the one who gave me everything,
Sleep now, sleep and be at peace,
I can’t chase these monsters away,
Like you once did for me,
I don’t have that power,
I love you, please suffer no more,
You’re so tired, please rest,
I’ll join you when my time comes,
And we will hold each other again,
The way we once did.
I Disconnect from you
I feel a certain sense of disconnection,
It is a comfort, numb and reassuring,
I don’t want to be a part of your world,
I’m not interested in any of your plans,
I have already given everything I want to,
There is not much left inside for myself,
So now, a farewell as I disconnect from you,
As I enter a final future, one without pain,
The end days, where I remain unsolicited,
Unaffected by comment, unhindered thoughts,
My time will be my own, so I push you all away,
Your mental thefts have not gone unnoticed.
Inner Space
Although in orbit —
I feel the stars are no nearer.
Two moments in one
In the infinite darkness of space,
I drift,
My ship is set to auto pilot,
Silently moving forward,
Zero navigation to find my way home,
Blind in the dark,
There is no sound other than my breathing,
A numbness fills me,
Not quite alive, but unable to die,
I am in stasis.
"I'm not sure if this works, but it felt like I was telling two tales at the same time, each line flows together, and yet, each second line tells separate tale, both combining at the end."
When the Beast Awakens
Covert as a crow at midnight,
My anxiety builds within,
An unwelcome guest with no invite,
A creeping feeling now settled in,
It only takes a carefree thought,
Cast in the wrong direction,
To awaken the monster that I have wrought,
From my mind I have no protection,
Its first blow fells me with a body shot,
And then it then likes to take its time,
Then it twists my stomach into a knot,
And that’s when it’s showtime,
My mind performs its pantomime,
Where I cry, and shake, and can’t think straight,
My thoughts explode working overtime,
Making narratives to feed my frantic state,
I take the drug to calm the thoughts,
That tell me that I’m going to die,
At the hands of this enemy that I have fought,
Since I was just a child,
Eventually the wave breaks upon the beach,
Where I’m washed up broken and tired,
Afraid to close my eyes at night and sleep,
Fearing the monster I have inside.
The Return
The other me has returned so soon,
He visits throughout the year,
In my head he hums a familiar tune,
That’s how I know that he is near,
I feel more distant than my usual self,
As though he casts me out to sea,
Or I’m placed upon a dusty shelf,
While he masquerades as me,
The real me waits until he leaves again,
But who knows how long he’ll be,
He’s rolling storm clouds, and pouring rain,
Don’t engage with the other me,
There’s no acknowledgement while he’s active,
I’m just an unwilling bystander,
Our thoughts are not co-active,
When he’s here, he is commander,
Suddenly he has gone without a warning,
Control returned, his task complete,
I’m left colder than a winters morning,
All alone in the driver’s seat.
Dan Verkys 