Who is this gentleman
that stands
Before me
in the mirror?
I no longer
Recognise him,
As I once did,
But I care for him.
I try to dress him well,
Vest, shirt, pants, tie,
Velvet coat, tidy shoes.
I try to care for him,
Expensive spectacles,
Antique poetry books,
Clean waxed moustache,
Neatly trimmed chin beard.
I keep him well groomed
Pleasant colognes,
Parfums, skin products,
Scented body washes,
So that he may
Feign confidence.
All of that love
That I show him,
All that effort I perform
Is so that he can feel ok.
And yet,
He remains
An ungrateful wretch.
Objectively disagreeable,
A fat, lazy, ugly,
Anxiety ridden,
Depressive,
Who hates himself,
And cannot bear
To be around people.
However,
I still comfort him,
I wipe away the tears
Nobody sees,
I quiet the echoes
That nobody hears.
I calm the torment,
That fills him,
While he punishes
Himself,
For the actions
Of others,
Who still
Haunt him.
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You write:
Objectively disagreeable,
Fat, lazy, ugly,
Anxiety ridden,
Depressive,
Who hates himself,
And cannot bear
To be around people.
But, over decades and more recently I have found you to be:
Objectively agreeable,
Funny (very) , warm and kind,
A genuinely good person,
Interesting (very) and easy to talk to,
Someone with a great deal to give,
And, above all,
Someone whose company
I genuinely enjoy. Someone who listens and does not judge. Someone with wise words.
So perhaps
the person you see
when you look at yourself
is not quite the person
the rest of us see.
Take heart, Dan.
You are rather better
than you give yourself credit for.
<3