Ship of Fools

Beneath the slumbering ebony sky,
The sleepwalker languidly shuffles,
Their path winding down a steep descent
From the long-bladed grasslands
Into the dense, wiry scrub of the beach headlands.

The sound of the crashing shore below beckons.
The dark emerald Ocean of Dreaming glistens,
Starlight shimmering upon its surface,
White-crowned waves roll through the darkness
Before breaking upon powdery sands.

At journey’s end, the winding path delivers
The sleepwalker to the glistening beach,
Where grains of sand sparkle like diamonds
Beneath the pale moonlight.

There they sit, empty-eyed and motionless,
Gazing out across the sea.

Waiting. Summoning. The Ship of Fools.

A captainless vessel,
Crewed by the mad and dysfunctional,
Lost souls adrift upon memory and desire,
Blindly navigating the dreamlands.

Far beyond the breakers,
A lantern flickers.
Then another.
Then another.

Ghostly lights dancing upon the horizon.
The sleepwalker rises.

For tonight, the ship seems closer.

Its shadowed hull emerges from the darkness,
Ancient sails hanging motionless,
Black against the stars.

No voices call from the deck.
No welcome is offered.

Yet still they walk forward.

The cold surf washes over their feet,
Then their knees,
Then their waist.

With every step the vessel drifts farther away,
Always beyond reach,
Always waiting,
Always calling.

Beneath the moon, the emerald waters glow.
Their depths churn with silent movement,
Dark shapes turning far below.

Still the sleepwalker follows,
Believing the next step will bring them aboard,
Believing the next wave will carry them to the ship.

Believing. Believing.

Until the sea closes over their head.
The lanterns vanish.
The ship dissolves into mist.

And far away, beneath the waking sun,
A body washes ashore upon an empty beach.

While somewhere beyond the veil of dreaming,
Another pale figure wanders the shoreline,
Waiting beside the Ocean of Dreams,
For the Ship of Fools.

Newton’s Cradle

My mind is finally being nourished creatively,
Like a Newton’s cradle in motion, I have momentum,
Ideas collide,
A hundred thoughts suddenly fighting for sunlight.

I feel as though I have lingered too long in darkness,
A creative solitary confinement of fatigue,
Working beneath soul-sapping monotony,
The stress of day work loosening its chokehold.

Slowly, surely,
My imagination returns.
I can write, I can create,
I can rebuild the architecture of my mind.

The weight, the weight,
That heavy crushing upon my thoughts,
Has begun to lessen.
That sickly hunger for content, content, content,
Is subsiding.

It feels as though the tide is withdrawing,
Allowing the sands of creativity to breathe.
I know the tide shall return,
But for the first time in a long while,
I will have taken a breath.

Chaos Structure

I keep each day much like the previous,
The same beginning, the same middle, the same end.
There is comfort in routine;
It grants me time to imagine, to create, to live.

My mind thrives upon structure,
Upon order.
In knowing, there is control.

Otherwise…
Chaos.

Unwelcome Arrival

Weary, resting in velvet armchair comfort,
I close my eyes; inhale deeply, then exhale,
Inviting myself to believe the lie that I am calm.

I feel the serpent writhing in my gut,
Grimvael,
Slithering upward around my spine,
Briefly constricting my throat,
Before coiling within my mind.

His unwelcome arrival announced,
I feel his icy black tendrils,
Reaching deep into my most wounded memories,
Feeding, feeding,
Drinking his fill from my hidden sorrows,
One thousand memories fastened to one thousand suckers.

The great serpent stirs forgotten places,
Twisting, twisting,
Until sleep claims me.

Canal Boat

Once every month the black boat comes,
When mist unthreads the sleeping quay,
No footsteps sound, no lantern burns,
No living soul its course can see.

It creaks against the lonely dock,
Old timber groaning soft with age,
And waits exactly seven minutes,
Silent as grief, still as a page.

No ferryman stands at the helm,
No hand is seen to steer or guide,
Yet something stirs upon the boards,
What unseen phantoms step inside?

A ferry for forgotten dead?
For names the river could not keep?
Who is the captain none behold,
Who sails between our waking sleep?

And when it slips back into mist,
No witness marks the path it chose,
If none have seen it truly come,
Did it exist, or a dream of ghosts?

The Eye of Grimvale

Spotted first from the starboard side,
A fearful captain gazes upon the Ocean of Dreams,
And there, the great green eye of Grimvael,
The immortal serpent of sorrow, stares back,
Its endless body stretching outward,
Vanishing into distant stars.

Without warning, the serpent descends;
Black scales and ocean spray shroud the sailor in mist,
Creating a terrible stillness,
A silence held between breaths,
Before the mighty serpent erupts from the sea,
Its vast eye unblinking as it crashes once more into the depths.

The creature’s wake topples the ancient ship,
And as the captain treads dark water,
He cannot witness the nightmare from above,
As Grimvael’s immense black jaws open,
Rising from beneath him in dreadful silence,
Before snapping shut,
Consuming sailor and ship alike,
Then slipping beneath the dreaming sea for the last time,
Returning the sparkling green waters
To a terrible, waveless calm.

Grimvael: The Serpent of Sorrows

In chambers hidden beneath remembrance,
Where old grief hangs like dust in ruined halls,
Where silence pools in the hollows of the mind,
And forgotten names drift downward like ash,
There coils Grimvael,
The sleepless serpent,
The black-mouthed keeper of sorrows,
The dream-krate of anxious souls.

No cradle bore him.
No heaven suffered him to rise.
He was born in the first trembling of memory,
When fear first looked backward,
And called itself thought.

He dwells not in flesh,
Nor cavern, or sea,
But in the labyrinth of recollection,
Among wilted childhood gardens,
Half-heard confessions,
The scent of mourning rooms,
The faces long buried beneath forgetting.

There he winds himself, endless and patient,
Through corridors of our unfinished grief.

His mouth is black as a crypt abandoned to rain,
A wound without gleam,
A silence ringed in hunger.
His venomous black tongue stirs there.
Where no serpent hiss escapes.
Only the sound of memory fraying.

Its darkness opens not outward, but inward,
As though the night itself had learned to feed.
From those jaws spill whispers stolen from sleeping men:

The words never spoken,
The apologies rotted to bone,
The dread of tomorrow,
The trembling knowledge
That joy departs unnoticed.

And his eyes, if eyes they may be called,
Sealed in ancient shadow,
for Grimvael has no need of sight.
He hunts by remembrance.
He tastes regret upon the spirit
As wolves scent blood upon the snow.
Across his body, black as drowned velvet,
the scales glisten with funeral sheen,
Obsidian pressed smooth,
By centuries of forgotten terror.

He coils in impossible spirals,
A cathedral of serpent flesh,
Each curve tightening around thought itself,
Until memory bends inward and becomes a prison.

Yet it is beneath him,
Beneath that terrible body that horror flowers.
A thousand suckers line his belly.
A thousand pale mouths,
Wet and patient as grave-lilies,
Ringed in trembling circles.
They cling, oh, how they cling.
To thoughts half-born.
To shame hidden beneath laughter.
To old wounds one swore forgotten.
To the sleepless turning of the midnight mind.

Each sucker fastens softly, almost tenderly,
Drawing from memory not blood,
But heartache.
One drinks a mother’s sorrow.
One drinks the terror of silence.
Another feeds upon a lover’s absence,
Upon letters unsent,
Upon funerals replayed behind shut eyes.
And still they hunger.
They crawl unseen through dreaming,
Pressing themselves to recollection
Until joy grows thin and grief becomes familiar.

In fevered nights they gather,
Those thousand hungry mouths,
Around the trembling chambers of thought,
Draining certainty, deepening shadows,
Teaching the soul the old language of dread.

Thus men wake unrested,
Their hearts heavy with unnamed weather,
Their minds crowded by ghosts that bear no faces.
For Grimvael has passed near.
The Sleepless Serpent remembers
what mortals bury.

He keeps the inventory of wounds.
He nests in unfinished mourning.
He winds himself through forgotten corridors
where fear drinks quietly from memory.

And when the candle dims low,
When the house falls mute,
When sleep comes thin and fractured,
You may feel him.
A pressure in the dark.
A thought returning unbidden.
A sorrow without origin.

Then know,
Beneath the trembling chambers of your mind,
Grimvael stirs, sleepless, and eternal,

his black mouth open,
his thousand suckers fastening softly,
to the fragile edges of your memory,

Feeding,
Feeding,
Feeding.

Sleep Lands

Behind closed eyes, as we descend to sleep,
Another world unfurls its gossamer veil,
Where architecture born of imagination,
Sculpts vast landscapes that stretch beneath,
Star-filled skies to the ocean of dreams,
Where silence drifts like silver mist,
And memory loosens from the waking mind,
To wander paths unbound by reason.
Do I wake?
Or walk on forever.

Grimvael: An Introduction

I am currently writing (and rewriting) a poem to introduce a creature I have conjured into being. As often happens when I am world-building, I find myself becoming consumed by detail, wandering too deeply into imagination. Grimvael will reveal himself in the coming days, though in truth, he has always been here. Within me, yes, but also woven throughout the imagery and symbolism of this website.

So, what is Grimvael?

Grimvael is a mythical serpent of the mind, an imagined creature that feeds upon anxiety and dwells within forgotten memory. A vast black-scaled serpent of immeasurable length, his underbelly is lined with a thousand feeding suckers that cling to fear, grief, sorrow, and memory itself. He is my visual representation of anxiety made flesh (or scale).

He is not born of darkness alone, but weaponised by innermost emotions and our most intimate fears. In moments of panic, dread, or overwhelming anxiety, it is as though Grimvael feeds, coiling tighter, constricting, drawing life and energy from the very suffering he consumes.

Dark? Yes, perhaps.

Yet there is something strangely empowering in giving form to what once remained hidden, something invisible, unnamed, and shapeless. By giving anxiety a face, a body, a myth, it ceases to be an unseen force lurking in the shadows. Now, it is Grimvael.

I realise this may sound a little mad to some. But perhaps that is the quiet beauty of creativity and imagination: they grant us language for our fears, shape to our struggles, and sometimes, strength we never knew we possessed.

Grimvael concept

Beyond The Weeping Gate

I’ve been me so many times now,
That I am lost in the echoes of myself;
I hear them calling, hear them calling,
From beyond the weeping gate.

There the shadows kneel in silence,
Wearing masks I abandoned in softer years,
Their mouths stitched shut with old confessions,
Their eyes like drowned lanterns beneath black water.
They beckon without movement,
A congregation of former griefs,
Gathered where memory rots in black corridors,
And time hangs damp with suffering.

The house within me has grown cavernous,
Its stairways descending into impossible rooms
Where sorrow sits upright beside the fire,
A patient dust covered harbinger of grief.
It knows me by every mask I have worn,
Calls each by name in the language of mourning,
And pours black wine into trembling hands
That no longer remember which flesh is mine.

I hear them calling, hear them calling,
The selves I starved, the selves I feared,
The silent twins of all my failures,
Their fingers pale upon the rusted latch.
Beyond the weeping gate they gather,
Neither wholly dead nor wholly memory,
Waiting where the dark folds inward,
Where sorrow flowers into sullen shapes.

For doom has lived beside me always,
A patient guest seated near the fire,
Its hands folded neatly in shadow,
Its smile thin as winter beneath the skin.
It speaks not of endings but of returning,
Of circles drawn in grief and dust,
Until I no longer know if I am haunted,
Or merely wandering the ruins of myself.